This is probably the first time I have opened up public to my experience with depression nearly one year ago when I admitted I need help with it March 2010 before I go back in time I would like to thank everyone for all the support and love to get me out of it.
I think it started way back into August 2009 where I was with my ex girlfriend. It was all going great between me, her and her son until her mask slipped and seen the real her behind it. She was mentally unstable and dragged me down with her until she got rid of me because I couldn’t trust her, but then again who can when she was overdosing herself enough for attention and being one big drama queen. My friends and colleagues were glad I split up, which today I am glad, but back then despite them and that’s when I started to sink in the black ooze of depression. After that I become a victim of fraud which was another painful experience. But what annoyed me the biggest companies claiming they are this and that but when one small bug comes along it all falls down into a chaos. I eventually got my money back three months later but it helped the ooze to absorb me in. Another thing was running two bowls teams during that period which took a lot doing. There was my own team and my fellow captain’s team, whom was taken very ill. I took over and led them to the best results both team can achieve especially my team made history in the club its highest ever finish in a decade or probably more, however it took a lot out of me specially mentally. Pressures of work when the bosses don’t give any respect and treated you like something on a there shoe I tried to fight back but it completely drained me. I turned to faith and asked “why me why me? If you meant to be loving help me out of this mess.” But no reply and I realised I was living on false faith which plunged me further deeper into the ooze. Slowly in January and February 2010 the ooze grappled me in absorbed me in deeper and buried me in. I felt I was a zombie everyday then I felt it was choking my life away until I admitted I needed help. After admitting I was put on to tablets which slowly restored my mental state. The doctors said I needed to move away from everything. Lady luck came and I was involved with jury service for three months. It made me think of everything and I was able to fight off the ooze even though it tried to use my friends to go against me however I prevailed. After the 1 year of the split I was fully better and planned on coming off the tablets. Three attempts later during the Christmas season I manage to come of them and my life was improving in a snail pace. Now today another 1 year anniversary I’ve stripped back to basics to return to myself leaving the ooze shadow self behind.