WARNING THIS CAN BE DISTURBING, SO PLEASE DO NOT READ if ARE HEAVY DEPRESSED AND/OR MENTALLY UNSTABLE. IF ARE DEPRESSED, MENTALLY UNSTABLE AND/OR NOT SURE SEE THE GP
This is probably one of the hardest posts to write. It will hurt me a lot emotionally.
First of all how will I do it?
I handle knives = slashing myself,
My Nan is on a cocktail of medication = overdose,
Handling my train set with liquids nearby = electrocution,
Driving along the road = car crash.
But believe it or not it would have been hanging in the attic. On that very night I had everything on top of me and I was looking for a way out. My toxic depression mind said ‘I want to end my life’ I even thought about it hanging in the attic with the door closed. I got up and looked at the attic door then it went dark. I open my eyes and seen white. I asked myself where am I. have I made it? Then Lucy (dog) gave me a slobbing wash Yuk. I immediately put my hand on throat nothing. I realise that I was in my room in bed, believing that my life time is not up, hasn’t expired. So I admitted I need help and seek for it at the gp whilst talking to the Samaritans. 3 months later I’m here writing about it hoping it can generate awareness for other people to read and listen. If you have ever experience this or something similar please go to the gp because our life is worth living and enjoying it.