February 2020 (Social Media)

I know this has been late but I have been ill from the common cold and I had a bad depression episode which I will explain in this post.

Social Media Is it boost or poison?

Think over this month word by mouth, Media, and Social Media hound down and unfortunately people took their own lives. Not going into detail or alienate the famous and the normal but there are people over the world are cruel and jealous of other people and do anything to break them down and plunge them into the darkness of the mental black hole. For me, social media is mainly a poison for me but small glimmers it can be a booster. A booster for me is when people like or positivity comment on you and whey. However, it can work the other way that you post something and nothing happens or your begging for something for that boost. I got so low it affected me and it nearly got to me.
Also what didn’t help was people whacking me down after I made improvements around my work area or I done something to get but people negativity commented to me.
Another thing was that valentines were a bad time because it mainly reminded me I got cheated on that day but also it is overhyped and why celebrate love on one day when we should celebrate it every day. For me, I would pick a day in my mind and surprise my partner (if I had one) and give them a time of our lives. Also, it doesn’t help when you are knocking on a door but never get an answer or back of the queue.

How to overcome the poison?

I know it’s easy said than done but ignore the noise of the media and social media. If there is a nasty comment on your profile try and delete it or imagine it’s on a chalkboard and ease it out or print it out and shed it, screw it into a ball and throw it in a bin. I can remember a cartoon frame where Garfield threw a ball into a basket hoop and it fell into a bin. Some people, but I don’t recommend it, burn it.

How to boost people and yourself?

I must of admit I leave compliments to people to give them a boost and make them feel better, like ‘you are looking amazing,’ ‘you are doing great work, keep it up!’ etc but be careful people can confuse it for flirting from complimenting so if you are worried about the stigma put at the start May I say because I believe it takes the stigma away.

As for yourself, first of all, be careful with this exercise if you are not in a great place skip it and come back when you are mentally strong enough.

Draw a line over ten dots with love and hate at each end be honest to yourself draw where you think you are. If you have more love or than hate a great job. 50% it’s ok but be careful or when I have done it, I hated myself more than love myself. I first feelings was scary, upsetting, depressing and felt like giving up and disappear. But I wrote down why I hated myself which was Regret, debt, not getting replies, deep in depression etc.
How did i solve it i made a gratitude journal and a mind dump journal.

Gratitude journal
Write down 10 things you are grateful for, I’ll even help you. Food, shelter, family, friends, health and life.
Also, write a single grateful paragraph.

Mind dump
Get a journal and every morning or night drain your mind into a journal or on a piece of paper.
Write everything down to clear it.

Another thing I would try in the near future pick up a mirror look it and a positive comment like I like you, I love you, you look awesome etc
I heard about it on Fearne Cotton podcast happy place which I recommend to listen to.

Next month, I will be trying a 20-day challenge which I’ll keep quiet until next time.

January 2020

Yes, it’s late but I decided to start writing about it in February but this started back in January.

In this month is the new me, and a new journal and a new quest.

I had an average month but I could have done more which I design a journal which hopefully helps me inhabits, plans, mental, health etc.

Last year it was successful until I had a car crash which totally changes my life and fell off the journal rails.

So firstly I have decided to go back to the Cotswolds in March and finish it to put to rest the demon that haunts me.

Secondly, I brushed off the dust collected on my kettlebell and use it.
The exercises I used is to lift and the bell and twist your arm up and gently bring it down. Squat, swinging it between your legs using your hips, and windmill. If you want to google or YouTube it.

Thirdly going back to my last year’s journal and source the good out of it and what worked well.

So things will look up, clearing everything up, and enjoying life more. If it helps get a book plain, lined or what I’m using dotted. Look at Pinterest or google journal ideas to create your journal because what works well for me may not go well for you and also it’s more personal when you create it yourself.

The black hole did try and pull me in but not this year.

30-day journal prompt challenge

I’ve done a 30-day prompt journal challenge. It was interesting as I learnt more of myself and deep down inside me. It was painful at times, but I’m glad I have done it, and I can see what kind of character I am. So, I challenge you to the challenge. Here’s how I have done it. I chose a prompt from the list and wrote a few sentences. Here’s the list and there is no harm of making your own prompts. If you have your own share in the comment box and not the answer unless you are comfortable with it.

1. What would you do if you knew you could not fail?
2. The greatest advice I would give my teenage self is…
3. Make a list of 20 things that make you smile.
4. If I’m really honest. . .
5. What would your body say to you now if it could talk?
6. I feel most energised when I…
7. Who or what was your first love?
8. Make a list of 30 things that inspire you. It can include everything from people to books to places and paintings.
9. What does your most blissful day look like?
10. The words I intend to live by from here on in are. . .
11. What do you need to let go of right now?
12. How are you feeling right now?
13. I am. . .
14. I feel. . .
15. I do. . .
16. I love. . .
17. I see. . .
18. I understand. . .
19. What are you most afraid of revealing about yourself?
20. How have you grown from mistakes you’ve made in life?
21. What could you do to create more happiness in your life as you are living it right now?
22. Write your own obituary.
23. The best adventure I ever had began when. . .
24. If I wait to be ready, I’ll never. . .
25. I want. . .
26. Write the words you need to hear and from whom?
27. Make a list of everything you would like to say ‘yes’ to.
28. What 20 things are you grateful for in your life right in this moment?
29. Where would you live if you could live anywhere on the planet and why?
30. What has surprised you most about life so far?

Btw there is one thing I will mention now. I didn’t choose the prompt. It choose me!
The list was inspired and take from the internet and online course I have done

The grateful sparrow

Yes, weird title but just think what a sparrow or a bird. I say down thinking about life and problems etc. in the garden. Then a house sparrow came on to the bird feeder and started feeding. I watched it, and it took my mind off and thought it’s grateful for the birdseed and the help it through. Then I reflected myself from the event. I’ve got support, shelter, refreshments etc. and some people haven’t got the basic needs. Then I saw grandad struggling with housework, so I helped him, and he was grateful.
So be grateful for what we have got and helped those who need it because it will make the person and you feel better. Here’s a challenge or two,
1, every morning or night write down ten things you are grateful for daily.
2, take one of those items and drill into by why am I grateful like for me why I like learning new things? Because it teaches me new skills. Why you want new skills? Because it keeps my brain active. Keep going until you no longer can ask yourself why? And to make it more of a challenge do at least five why’s.

Our life book

I’ve been writing short stories ever since in was school, been self publishing for a few years. Our lives are just like books. If can be turbulent, sad, intense,joyful, amazing and the ending can be great, depressing or tender hook. So who writes our book of life? Is it or neighbour, a friend, your enemy, your family member or you! My life book so far has been written by me. Yup that’s right. All the experiences on and off the blog are written by myself under different circumstances. The best thing is when we write a new page it’s clean and fresh where we can pick up or restart things. New page, new beginning and new day. So make it positive, amazing, fruitful and the main thing being happy and great for ourselves. Pick up that pen or pencil, turn to a fresh clean page and start writing great positive things like starting a new day with positive thinking because only you decide what to do!

Seeping into the shadows.

(this post should’ve been posted last year in October but the scheduler didn’t upload it) Yes I know it has been a long time since I have posted on the blog, but a lot has gone on. Some events happened and have hit me hard mentally. But I have marched on continuing everyday life putting on a mask to hide the pain and sorrow. I feel like seeping into the shadows of anxiety and depression again and fading away until I’m totally gone. Noises and speech muted, presences unaware and forgotten. However, I’m still here trying to regain the courage and determination from my meek mind and body. I would like to give up one day but I’m not going too. The past few days I have been thinking about myself and how to play it!!! The biggest problem I have is me, I am my own worst nightmare. I will, one day, ignite my fire again and walk along the path strong and fearless but after I cleared out the nightmare I’ve distinguished once before.

Living under the black cloud.

It’s reasonably hard living under the black cloud because you don’t know what the day brings. Good day peace and harmony with your mind with no problems at all but when it starts to go black under the dark cloud of anxiety and depression that’s when it all begins. Your mind starts to play tricks on you and when you give in to the chaos! You don’t know what to believe. For me, I’m glad it happens rarely but still, have the odd attack like one time I caved in because I thought I wasn’t good enough and thought I was going to be put on the side. However, after a few weeks still here! The best thing to tackle this in my experience is meditation and breathe. If your starts to go wondering or your mind trying to trick you, take a moment focus on deep breathing and relax. The moment can be as long as you want but for me an average of five to ten minutes long. So when your mind starts to take a few deep breaths and relax to calm your mind down. Then carry on where you left off.