Under the black cloud

Yup it has been some time I wrote in this blog. Lets see for most people I am an author of six short stories soon, been in a new job for over half a year and expanding my grounds on photography. Good and I still suffer from depression and anxiety mainly in the social bit. Nope you have misread it. Last year was so turbulent that it has threw me off course. I miss few people and try my best to reconnect. But doesn’t always go to plan. Recently I have been staying up late at night thinking is it worth it! Funny because on 6th march I felt I can take on challenges and had fire in me the determination I use to have. But I Think that has been extinguished now weird is it! So what I am going to do next? Answer don’t know. Maybe I could cut all the negative people whom cant be bothered and save my time spent on them and remove all the fake and tag along people from my circle. Move to a different area since I believe I may have exhausted this area but I have just resettled myself down again. Stop doing things that are not productive and I have taken it as far as I can. Or finish of what my body was doing to me year and half ago! But no I was given another chance. So I better not lose it since the scars remind me of it. Looks like I am in a cycle that only me can break out of it. Think a change is in order and trying to do it is harder than I think it was going to be but would be nice if someone can go inside my brain and suck out the black cloud out. So I will never know what will happen next but I am hopeful that my future could be bright but I will never know where it will might lead!

Thank you for all of the support

I would like to thank people, who supported and helped me for the past few turbulent days. Especially,  when an abdominal pain nearly put me in hospital, also other events occurred during the time. I’m not 100% however I’m ok to carry out the usual every day life. So thank you all.
Adrian

Let go and enjoy life

During the bank holiday I had an emotional shock. I’m feeling a lot better and it wasn’t depression. A friend whom I chat to, mother and daughter lost one of their family member, daughter and sister, the scary thing is I only spoken to her couple of weeks ago and she’s around my age. I did my best to comfort them however during the evening I broke down. After I came back to my senses I realise I learnt something during a Buddha session which I will share. Let go all the stress and worries. Enjoy life and treasure the best moments.