January 2020

Yes, it’s late but I decided to start writing about it in February but this started back in January.

In this month is the new me, and a new journal and a new quest.

I had an average month but I could have done more which I design a journal which hopefully helps me inhabits, plans, mental, health etc.

Last year it was successful until I had a car crash which totally changes my life and fell off the journal rails.

So firstly I have decided to go back to the Cotswolds in March and finish it to put to rest the demon that haunts me.

Secondly, I brushed off the dust collected on my kettlebell and use it.
The exercises I used is to lift and the bell and twist your arm up and gently bring it down. Squat, swinging it between your legs using your hips, and windmill. If you want to google or YouTube it.

Thirdly going back to my last year’s journal and source the good out of it and what worked well.

So things will look up, clearing everything up, and enjoying life more. If it helps get a book plain, lined or what I’m using dotted. Look at Pinterest or google journal ideas to create your journal because what works well for me may not go well for you and also it’s more personal when you create it yourself.

The black hole did try and pull me in but not this year.

the fall and rise

For a long time now I have been on top of a mountain. A year ago I crumbed and plunge into deep water. I felt vulnerable and chocking in the depths of the ocean looking and trying to swim back to the surface. Drowning and no way out I felt there was one option left end my life. But it didn’t go that way instead Lucy, the faith family dog, stop it. After getting help, I slowly recover, floating up from the deep ocean and back on the surface. Grasping for air I wasn’t out of the storm just yet. A whirlpool trying to suck me back down. I struggled however manage to get to safety and found an island a safe haven. I sat down and meditated. It felt like a protective cocoon wrapped me up and repel any harmful things thrown at me by the storm. Reclaiming and rediscovering myself, I came out re-energised. Wanting to run and go straight in, I realize it wasn’t the answer, so I decided to train to see what I’m capable of doing. Slowly I learn my own abilities and limits. I decided then to take a brand new path and walk along it.
Using new and improved abilities I was able to conquer challenges from too easy to that was tight, (words from sonic the hedgehog) grabbing the opportunities and using them to my advantage. I grew in confidence and self believe, mentally free running and flying. Achieving and grabbing opportunities as they come I wonder when the next storm strikes me down.

.lift up 1

My ambitions list 2015 so far

At the beginning of the year I made a 2015 ambitions list and to remind people here it is


Charity work
Open an e-shop

Enter photography competitions regularly

Blogging on awareness, photography and other issues. /
Travel to different areas
more online college work at least three courses.

Believe in myself

Here is the list at the moment

Charity work
Open an e-shop

  • Riedal’s arts and crafts (in progress)

Enter photography competitions regularly

  • Natural photography group
  • East if England national trust
  • National geographic
  • View bug

Blogging on awareness, photography and other issues. /
Travel to different areas
More online college work at least three courses.

  • Buddhism
  • short story writing
  • photography master class

Believe in myself


You can create one of these at any time so give it go and remember it’s a marathon not a sprint


tagsWe all have them, positive and negative tags. That’s part of our uniqueness without them we will be like robots doing and being the same. Imagine the world if everything is the same. I’ll probably hang myself if that happens. However everyone read our tags. But unfortunately they choose which ones to read. The positive will read the positive and the negative will only read the negative. I would not worry because it’s the negatives problem that they are negative not ours. So don’t let them put you down and bury you with their negatively, just laugh and walk away. Also to stop the negative judging and ruining you, be positive and praise them because the more positivity you send out the more positivity you will receive. Start advertising your positivity and send it out to others like something simple as ‘hello’ and smile. It will give them a wakeup call.

open letter to everyone

Hey guys and girls

you have probably notice that there are less updates on blog especially on depression. Just to let you know I’m almost fully better however still on the tablets which have been giving me a helping hand. I like to say thank you for all support and advice. Mental illness is a hidden illness which should be more awareness as it can kill stealthy. My words are your not alone and get help. The best thing I did for a safety mental net was when I was bad I put a status up on Facebook and the amount of support either from loveable hug to a slap around the face. But this only works if you have a good friend base and get help as soon as possible.

I have been doing online courses on Buddhism for my mental health, short story writing to keep my brain imagination going and photography masterclass on udemy which I fully recommend.

I have also been doing free short story writing. In other words just been writing short stories to keep my brain going and hopefully share some stories to everyone to enjoy and read.

And finally been planning to open an e-shop for jewellery, paracord and photography which is exciting but hard and long process.

Hope you all well and thank you for following, supporting and advice you have given me.

Kind regards